Rating/Genre: pg?/crack (or something close to it)
Characters/Pairing: Me, The Bennet family; references to Noah/Angela, Peter Gabriel/everyone
Summary: A scene from the kitchen while we are eating waffles talking about Peter Gabriel.
Word count: 538
Disclaimer: I only own me, not the Bennets. Peter Gabriel belongs to kidarania_nika (except the real person with the same name who is his own person).
Warnings: It’s for the bad!fic challenge!!!
Notes: This is a spinoff from kidarania_nika’s fic (because this challenge is inspiring like this, posted with permission), based on a series of comments in my journal.Background story: I had written a non-fluffy fic and we like waffles and… and you don’t really need to know.
(In the Bennet family’s kitchen. Noah, Sandra, Claire, Lyle and me are eating waffles.)
ME: Hey Lyle, my friend told me she wants your autograph.
LYLE: (Surprised) Uh… really? Um, okay. Whatever.
ME: She said it’s for Peter Gabriel.
LYLE: (Blushes, squees, grunts something inarticulate)
CLAIRE: You’re kidding, right?!
LYLE: (excited) If it’s for Peter Gabriel then I can give it to him in person, you know, I can do that, that’s totally no problem at all! (Looks at Noah) Dad, can you give me some money so I can go see Peter Gabriel?
NOAH: Which Peter Gabriel are we talking about? The old one or the guy who makes everybody jizz in their pants because he has the biggest, thickest…
SANDRA: (Interrupting him) Noah! Don’t talk like that in front of the kids!! (Goes to make more waffles)
NOAH: No. You can’t see that guy. It’s out of the question, you’re underage!
LYLE: (Whining) That’s so unfair!!
CLAIRE: Yeah, it’s totally not cool, dad! Ageism is bad.
NOAH: Says who?
CLAIRE: You. Or you should say it because (lowers her voice) you’ve had a crush on Angela forever…
NOAH: (Hissing) Don’t say that! Your mother…
CLAIRE: (With an evil grin) I’m not saying anything. If you let Lyle and me go to see Peter Gabriel.
NOAH: Okay, fine! I guess it’s fair like that; I get to see her and you guys can see Peter Gabriel. Yes, you can go! (Murmurs silently) Angela and I might stop by later…
SANDRA: (Returning with more waffles) Oh no, Noah, are you going to allow them to go?! In that case I’m coming with them!!
LYLE: Mom, you can’t! You can’t leave Mr. Muggles alone!
ME: It’s okay, you go and have fun. I’ll take care of Mr. Muggles for you.
NOAH: Okay, if you say so.
SANDRA: Oh, thank you, thank you! (To Mr. Muggles) Did you hear that? What a sweetie she is, isn’t she?!
MR. MUGGLES: (Jumps up and down wagging his tail)
SANDRA AND NOAH (Leave the kitchen to go pack their bags)
CLAIRE: Wait a minute… (Looks at me) He’s going to see Angela and you’re just going to sit here?!
ME: (Shrug my shoulders) Yeah, well… what can I do? She is straight according to canon, so…
LYLE: Aw, man… That sucks!
CLAIRE: Yeah, but… you can read Lyle’s fanfic while you’re here. That’ll give you something to do.
ME: Yay, awesome!
LYLE: But you should know that I don’t write femslash. That’s like… (Imitating vomiting sounds)… I’m a Mulder/Krycek shipper!
ME: (Disappointed) Okay, fair enough… But can’t you at least write Scully/Krycek? For me? Or… yeah, I’ve got it! An X-files/Star Trek Voyager crossover!!
CLAIRE: (Giggling) I guess she wants Scully/Seven of Nine, that would be a total crack!fic… Oh, no, how could I be so stupid? (Facepalm) Obviously she wants you to write Scully/Janeway, OMG that’s so lame… (Laughing) He told you, he doesn’t do femslash!
SANDRA: (Enters the kitchen) Are you guys still here?! Hurry up! Peter Gabriel doesn’t wait!! (Looks anxiously at me) Does he?
ME: Don’t look at me, I don’t know…
SANDRA: Better safe than sorry! Come on, kids!
All of them leave the house. Mr. Muggles is cute. I eat another waffle.